The Wombat File Is Yours to Keep

10. Harry misses opportunity for great bilingual action-hero repartee: "Voldy -- morte."
9. Shockingly small number of dead Weasleys.
8. Fails to enact return of Christ Jesus to Hogwarts, attended by an army of righteously wrathful saints, who purge the demonic academy of all traces of sorcery.
7. No product placement, which otherwise could have propped up global consumer economy for years to come.
6. Loud orange color of cover makes final volume even more embarrassing to carry around than previous six.
5. Gratuitously hip soundtrack of angular 1980s post-punk distracts from narrative.
4. Logical flaw: Death Eaters eat death numerous times, yet are never shown to be satisfied.
3. Long-promised Pansy Parkinson-Luna Lovegood catfight cut from final version.
2. Annoying sport of Quidditch still conceivably legal even after the Dark Lord's defeat.
1. Contains no viable plan for ending the War in Iraq.