The Wombat File Is Yours to Keep

Enough with the silence here. The Wombat's unaccountable reluctance to share his inconsequential and tedious opinions, beliefs, misapprehensions, complaints, spastic enthusiasms, and last-to-notice-it observations will no longer be allowed to choke off the free and spontaneous flow of Wombattitude that should enliven this space.

Here's a sample of topics you can look forward to in the near future:

• How to Live in Denial While Your Apartment is Falling Apart
  
• The Shame of Listening Repeatedly to only 3% of the Artists Represented on Your 30GB iPod
  
• Tiny Variations on the Same Damn Pasta Dish
  
• Musings on Wake of the Flood from Someone Who Knows Next to Nothing about The Grateful Dead.
  
• Agonizing Over How to Answer a Four-Year-Old's Questions About Death
  
• Safely Vague Complaints about Work
  
• Narrative of an Evening Trapping Fruit-Flies in a Homemade Trap and then Shouting with Inappropriate Glee Every Time One of the Little Fuckers Meets with His Soap-and-Vinegar Doom
  
• Feeble Attempts at Something Resembling Literary Criticism, Sabotaged by a Presiding Fear That I've Missed the Point
  
• Desperate Attempts to Make Generic, Helpless, Predictable Rage about Dick Cheney's Continued Role in American Foreign Policy Seem Fresh and Compelling
  
• Getting Ink-Stains Out Using Hair Spray: A Retrospective
  
• An Impressionistic Recollection of those Really Delicious Roast Beef Sandwiches that Place in Chelsea Market Used to Have, with Pre-Emptive Apologies to a Largely Vegetarian Readership
  
• Dithering Over Which Democratic Candidate Seems Least Likely to Disappoint
  
• Why That Last Movie I Got to See Really Sucked
  
• Pessimism on a Subject to Be Determined Later
  
• Excuses
  

Don't miss out!