The Wombat File Is Yours to Keep: The Friday Quizmas Eve: Trying to Make it Up to You for the Holidays, in Classic American Dysfunctional Family Style

The Friday Quiz has been barely there, of late. Tardy in posting, short on clues or responses from the quizmaster. Or even just inexplicably absent, leaving the good citizens of Quizville to come up with their own questions in the fallow comment threads (Though the result was better than anything I've managed of late, I'm still ashamed it came to that.) We're aware that we've long ago run through whatever supply of patience you, dear reader, have. And that now we're largely an irritant, a constant disappointment. The untrainable, charmless mutt you wish you'd never brought home from the pound.

And yet here you are. I won't go so far to say that it means you stil love the Quiz. But maybe you still need the Quiz. And that's good enough for me.

The Quiz has had enough breaks lately, so barring accidents, we'll be here next week (even if you're sanely away from your computer), but to make up for all of the appalling neglect, what follows is a little holiday present, in the form of not one, not two, but three questions -- all about famous names.

But before we get there, a quick note: some of you may be wondering "Isn't there usually some big year-end Quiztacular or some other such foofaraw at this time of year?" You're not? Nobody? Well, screw you. Anyway, this year we'll delay, in our customary style, such festivities until they're TRULY needed -- the dim and dreary month of February. Prepare, then, for word of the Leap Year Qwinterfest, in which those 29 chilly days will be warmed by the blood that will be a-boiling in your brains from all that thinktation.

But now, our three questions for today.

1. At the opening of a famous trial, the defendant made this statement of challenge to the court, concerning it's jurisdiction.

"Now I would know by what authority, I mean lawful; there are many unlawful authorities in the world, theives and robbers by the highways; but I would know by what authority I was brought from thence, and carried from place to place, and I know not what: and when I know by what lawful authority, I shall answer..."

His defense was unsuccessful. Who was he?

2. This man, describing his own engineering innovation in the quotation below. The product thus created -- something of a modification of previously existing ones -- became completely identified with his name.

"I had a two inch pipe feeding a inch-and-a-half pipe, like rush out with twenty million cars trying to get through one tunnel. We re forcing that mass of water onto the backside of the venturi, this huge, beautiful elliptical orifice. And what is unique is we allow air to be pulled in not just from one side but two, top and bottom, and the vacuum pulls it through. If you see the water explode, the water is just incredible, gangbusters, spinning at an incredible rate."

What is his now-famous name?

3. In 1859, a European performer created what is generally credited to be the first modern trapeze act, in which he successfully leapt from one swinging trapeze to another. His name later became well-known due to a related, but separate innovation. What is his name?

Special real Xmas-season prize: First correct guess to each gets $5 donated by the Wombat to the charity of your choice, provided that (a) they accept donations online, (b) they accept penny-ante donations like I'm offering, and (c) they aren't going to use it to put guns in the hands of anti-abortion activists who are also Minutemen, OK? No Googling, unless you're Googling to find out if the Minutemen take online donations or something just to give the Wombat a hard time and why would you want to do that anyway? One guess to each per comment, but comment as often as you like and a happy Saturnalia to all.

Comments

1) Slobodan Milosevic
2) Jacuzzi

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 08:03 AM

An early slam dunk on #2. The quote is from Mr. Jacuzzi himself. Pick your charity, boxjam.

#1 is incorrect.

Posted by: BT | December 21, 2007 09:42 AM

Huh - I felt better about my #1 guess than my #2.

My charity, "So Others Might Eat," (https://secure2.convio.net/soome/site/Donation?ACTION=SHOW_DONATION_OPTIONS&CAMPAIGN_ID=1043&JServSessionIdr012=l87r2hbus6.app6a) gets 4-stars on the Charity Navigator site, and they only put *clubs* in the hands of anti-seal-pup activists who are also litterbugs, so I think that should be cool.

But hold off - I plan on snaring another one of these questions before the day is through.

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 10:17 AM

I'll wait for the final results before making any donations, so that aggregate totals can be used.

Posted by: BT | December 21, 2007 10:24 AM

1. Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (ugly story that. And poor Beaker.)
3. Trampoline

Posted by: herbivorous | December 21, 2007 10:25 AM

1. Saddam Hussein

Posted by: herbivorous | December 21, 2007 10:36 AM

Nope and nope and nope.

Posted by: BT | December 21, 2007 10:45 AM

1. Major John Andre (with a thingy on the e).

3. Wallenda

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 10:48 AM

nope

Posted by: BT | December 21, 2007 10:59 AM

Socrates

Posted by: herbivorous | December 21, 2007 12:11 PM

1. Breaker Morant

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 12:16 PM

1. Nelson Mandela

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 12:30 PM

Everyone's a little too contemporary on #1, except for Herbivorious, who is a little too ancient. The quotation presented is not in translation.

Posted by: BT | December 21, 2007 01:59 PM

1. Oscar Wilde

Posted by: shananan | December 21, 2007 02:32 PM

1. Sir Walter Raleigh

3. Pommel, of Pommel horse fame.

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 03:09 PM

Captain Kidd?

Posted by: Scraps | December 21, 2007 06:34 PM

(Guessed for number one, if that isn't obvious.)

Velma guesses Leotard for number 3.

(We wave from Seattle!)

Posted by: Scraps | December 21, 2007 06:39 PM

Captain Bligh

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 08:39 PM

Christian Fletcher.

Posted by: boxjam | December 21, 2007 08:40 PM

We wave back at Velma, who is absolutely right. Scraps, please ask your better half where she wants her $5 to go.

Still nobody has #1 right. One clue: his defense was so very, very unsuccessful that he lost his head.

Posted by: BT | December 21, 2007 10:43 PM

Louis XVI -- is that the right one?

Posted by: art | December 22, 2007 06:04 AM

King James

Posted by: shananan | December 22, 2007 12:11 PM

King Charles

Posted by: shananan | December 22, 2007 12:12 PM

Mel Gibson

oliver cromwell

Posted by: boxjam | December 22, 2007 01:01 PM

The cadence doesn't sound quite right, but the instant I saw it I thought Thomas Moore.

Posted by: Jonathan | December 22, 2007 01:29 PM

right, not in translation, um, Guy Fawkes

Posted by: art | December 22, 2007 07:29 PM

or Henry VIII himself

No,not King James. He had other people chopped, like Mary Queen of Scots. I think it was King Charles with the long brown hair, the Fred Sonic Smith of English kings. Was he a I? Charles II was no heartthrob.

Posted by: shananan | December 23, 2007 03:17 PM

OK, he was more like the Eddie Vedder of English kings.

Posted by: shananan | December 23, 2007 03:24 PM

Shananan dreams of Charlie with the long brown hair. Indeed, those were Charles I of England's words of challenge at the start of his trial for treason. His argument -- that the Crown's parliament couldn't try the King -- didn't wash with the people trying him, for fairly obvious reasons, since they'd basically been fighting a war with him over the issue of the limitations on royal power, and had won.

This may be the first comparison of Charles the First to Eddy Vedder on record.

By the way, I think both Charleses had long brown hair. Should the current Prince of Wales ascend to the throne, he will be the shortest-haired Charlie ever to have reigned in England. That's almost a Quiz question right there!

Velma and Shananan, don't forget to submit your choice of charitable recipient for your $5. Boxjam, I'm taking care of yours right now.

Posted by: BT | December 24, 2007 12:11 AM

That made me laugh really hard, thank you. I had an inexplicable crush on the ghost of Charles I when I was in 7th grade. At least I didn't compare him to John Sinclair.

Oh free the orangutans. I'll get back to you with the org.

Posted by: shananan | December 25, 2007 12:52 AM

Velma says thank you, and chooses The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Posted by: Scraps | December 25, 2007 02:07 PM

Boxjam,
Thanks for reminding me of S.O.M.E. It was founded by a priest at my high school, whom I will always admire.
Jonathan

Posted by: Jonathan | December 25, 2007 06:03 PM

The Wombat File Is Yours to Keep

The Wombat File is a Delaying Tactic that May Save Your Life

The Friday Quizmas Eve: Trying to Make it Up to You for the Holidays, in Classic American Dysfunctional Family Style

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