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Friday Pre-Quiz List Battle: Top 10 Schoolhouse Rocks

The unquestionably correct list, in ascending order of excellence:

10. Elbow Room. The fact that the ideological-historical lesson imparted is now so shame-making that one can't believe this one was made in does not, completely, detract from the sheer goofy catchiness of the song.
9. Conjunction Junction. This would rank, I think, higher if anyone could remember any part of this other than the chorus. But it's a hell of a chorus, and it will get you there, if you're very careful.
8. Ready or Not. Invaluable, right up there with that song that teaches you to spell "Mississippi."
7. I'm Just a Bill. A counterexample to most of these -- better as a memorable peice of filmic pedagogy than as a song, actually. Not that it's terrible work as a song.
6. I Got Six. Not only possessed of a powerful groove, but it ups the math-educative ante over many of the other songs with its elegant lesson concerning the hungry men in the restaurant.
5. Rufus Xavier Sasparilla. An unsatisfying cartoon, but a great and surprisingly moving piece of comic songwriting.
4. Figure Eight. Blossom Dearie and that haunting cello. Also: "Now it's time to get off on your new math tricks."
3. Lucky Seven Sampson. Although "Figure Eight" is almost certainly more memorable as a film, this one is just so delightful as a song that I think it edges the other out.
2. The Preamble. In the alternate America of my dreams, this is what we stand and sing before baseball games.
1. Lolly, Lolly, Lolly. Has it all, punctuated by that gleefully soulful piano-driven workout at the end: "CONDITION! REASON!"

You may post your alternate rankings in the comments, although they are wrong.

Comments

1. "Habeas Corpus, the Civil Porpoise."

Although I understand that one's been taken out of the rotation.


As was, I suppose, "Ticking Bomb" (The Torture Memo Song).


I can't believe you didn't include Verb!


"Verb" is good, but not one of my favorites -- indeed, thelower end of the top 10 is a tight squeeze. I left off "Three is a Magic Number" and "Little Twelve Toes," after all, and another good Blossom Dearie outing ("Unpack our Adjectives") as well as all of the science ones (other than "Electricity, Electricity" they hardly stick in memory), and most of the history, all though I have a soft spot for the one about the shot heard 'round the world.


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