Mir Re-Entry Leaves Social Psychologist Unscathed
MOSCOW (AP) Mar 21 – Spurred on by a wave of national anxiety about “one of our own,” a special team of Lithuanian scientists were rushed to Moscow in the final hours of the Mir descent to help insure that the space station's re-entry would not fall on Lithuanian-American social psychologist Arthur Stukas. Although Alexei Splushkin, the Russian Cosmonautical Minister, described the odds of such a Stukas-cidal event as “incalculably low,” the Lithuanian team insisted on being involved. “We aren’t taking any chances,” said Vytautas Kamantuas, leader of the Emergency Squashing Prevention Team, as he and his ten-man engineering unit swung into action. “Look how close they came with Skylab!” Although tensions ran high between the Lithuanian team and Russian Mir controllers, after a safe splashdown the sense of mutual congratulation swept through the command center, and toasts to the health of “the beloved Arturas” were quietly made.

Mr. Stukas, who was attending a faculty barbie near his home in Melbourne, Australia, could not be reached for comment.