Man I have no idea.

I'll guess Joshua, and whatever empire the Jerichoans were - which I have no idea of.
I don't suppose it was those darned Etruscans?

Can I take the second part first? I'm guessing this is about the Philistines. Iggy Pop's character in "Dead Man" defined a philistine as a "real dirty person." Great movie.

The fist part troubles me. How about Samuel? I had to look up the names of the books of the Bible. Is that cheating?

Uh, Exodus and Sodom and Gomorrah. Is that two, or is it sort of like Winston-Salem*?

*The only town name that contains the brand names of two different cigarettes. I might still be a smoker if I could get Gomorrah Lights or Sodom Slims.

Biblical trivia isn't my forty, but if my office mate is coming in today, she can probably nail it. She had a Bible-rich upbringing.

i'm gonna say (a) 'daniel' and i'm gonna say, uh, hmmm, (b) the sumerians?

was gavin's quiz ever solved? my latest guess is upton sinclair.

looking backwards (no reference to bellamy intended, since he is not the mystery author either), i see that the quiz was solved. and i know that upton sinclair was a terrible guess, but i was truly at my wit's end. as, clearly was bt; isn't t. herman zweibel editor-in-chief of the onion?

I'm going to guess that the answer to the first part is Revelations.

And that the answer to the second part is the Ottoman Empire.

Oh Danny Boy?

oh, and it's the babylonians.

Well, the results are in: Bootsy is the first with both parts of the question right. It's in Daniel 5:25 at King Belshazzar's feast where the bad news comes down, that the Babylonian empire has been weighed and found wanting, and will be divided up -- I believe among the Medes and the Persians.

In my rather dull big book of illustrated bible stories which some rather pedantic adult gifted me as a child, one of the few illustrations that was interesting enough to pass into memory was of a big, scary, floating hand tracing letters (probably faux-Hebrew, given the quality of the book) on a wall. For some reason I found this creepy enough to remember, and the words always give me a bit of a shiver.

Bah. I thought that would be harder for this group of sinners and apostates and pleasure-worshippers.

Oh, and sorry you came so close, mlang -- a very good guess with Sumerians.

And Scott, "Sodom Slim's" should be the name of a gay roadhouse on a deserted highway in West Texas.

I think this verse of the Bibe was recently referenced in a Tom Tomorrow cartoon, which would've been the only way i'd've remembered it, except for that summer my atheistic-type parents decided to scrimp on childcare and so sent me to the presciently-named Camp Weed for Bible week when i was 13... Anyway it was supposed to've also been an anti-multicultural thing, too, no?

MLang should really get the Jack Chick.

Not a anti-multicultural thing. Perhaps you think of the Tower of Babel. Unless, of course, you take the view that the entire OT is basically one long dis of non-Chosen-People. But it's not like I want to get into that. The writing on the wall was a sign that Nebuch . . . that guy with the long name, you know, last couple syllables almost rhyme with Desert, or more specifically Fezzer. . . his empire was toast.

But I most specifically write to inform the moderator that even if the winning contestant doesn't want the chick tracts, her husband says send them anyway.

thanks, bootsy, but i've already got more jack chick tracts than i can handle. every time i go to denny's, i take the whole stack from the restroom (to keep them from falling into 'the wrong hands'). and bt doesn't really honor quiz prizes anyway. i'm still waiting for my crushed-sweet-tart-filled airline liquor bottle.

the interesting thing is that i, too, relied upon the bible-learning gleaned (a word i picked up from same; see 'ruth & naomi') solely via an illustrated children's book. unfortunately, i didn't pay enough attention to adam smith's/daniel's invisible hand, choosing instead to be horrified by two other illustrations:

1. sampson slaying philistines with the bloody jawbone of an ass (for obvious reasons);
2. jacob stealing isaac's blessing from esau by wearing goat skins on his forearms to simulate body hair (i have no idea why this image bothered me so; it just seems really creepy...and somehow kinky).

Dammit, the prizes will be forthcoming. In some form.

That Jacob/Esau thing always struck me as a weird story, too. How hairy was Esau, anyway?

Well, last night I pulled out the Bible to see if there was a section in the back called "famous metaphors with biblical roots" so that I could get the answer to the quiz.

Perfectly by chance, the first thing I turned to was Deuteronomy Chapter 23:

http://www.bible.org/netbible/deu23.htm

I will be haunted by its first verses for the rest of my days.

Well, if the prizes really are forthcoming, then I'll have my Tic-Tacs in... uh... blueberry. If there is such a flavour. Anything except cinnamon, really.

Keep 'em until I'm next in NY and can collect in person.

> I will be haunted by its first verses for the rest of my days.

Now, now, boxjam. It's not that bad. Check the footnote. By "crushed" the Hebrew intent was to say "bruised by crushing." Who hasn't had a little bruising by crushing?

boxjam: i'm not entirely clear on why this particular passage was so haunting to you personally.

is/are one/both of your testicles crushed (or bruised by crushing, as it were)? has your penis been severed*?

if either case is true, you have my deepest sympathies. but there must be some sort of support group you could join... best wishes for a speedy recovery.

*what if one's penis has been severed and re-attached (i.e., john wayne bobbitt)? would one still be banned from the splendor of heaven? and how exactly do they re-attach a penis anyway?

i'm also wondering: was crushing (or crushing by bruising, of course) testicles some sort of ancient fad? the bronze age equivalent of the modern day prince albert piercing?

i don't see why it would be explicitly prohibited unless there was some gang of persons going about engaging in the practice. not that i don't necessarily agree that testicle-crushers should be blocked at the pearly gates... who knows what sort of havoc they might wreck amongst the cherubim and seraphim.