After last week's quasi-debacle, how could we return to the Quiz without asking to ourselves, "Do we have what it takes? Can we really be counted upon to deliver the kind of well-researched, correctly spelled Quiz material that our readers count on? Are we, in the words of a former employer, truly adding value?"
We listened carefully to ourselves; and looked deep inside, back in the rear of the sock drawer of the mind; and we knew that the answer was almost certainly no.
And then, on the back page of an advertisement lying around in the St. Clair diner on Atlantic Avenue, we saw it. While we waited for a grilled cheese sandwich, we saw it. The bit of trivia that will redeem this quiz. A quotation from a truly unpredictable source. Here are the details, the quotation, and the question:
Beginning in the very early eighties, this individual had a small string of major rock hits (not that he hadn't been rocking out prior to this -- rather, these were simply the "breakout" years); he toured as opening act for various arena-rock bands, but his anthemic and righteous songs brought him a following in his own right. Like many late-seventies cock-rockers, he vanished from the mass consciousness nearly as quickly as he came, leaving behind only the memory of a couple of less-than-complicated choruses, and a small but dedicated core of fans who pray for his commercial resurrection.
A quote from this gentleman appears on the back of a catalog for a popular NYC writing program. He writes of this program:
"I've gained tremendously, both in knowledge and understanding of the craft. My confidence as a writer has soared, and I've already completed three drafts of a full-length screenplay. The results speak for themselves -- I'll be back."
Who is this once-mighty axe-wielder-turned-writing-program-blurb-provider?
You could, in fact, find the quote by Googling: but that would be cheating. Look deep inside yourself. Visualize the early days of MTV. Repeat the formula: "Columbia House. Columbia House. Columbia House." Let the answer rise up like fog from a backstage smoke machine.
First correct answer to comments gets a surplus WFMU pledge drive bumper sticker. As we fly off to New Orleans this afternoon to attend the wedding of Guest Quizmaster Gavin, if no one gets the correct answer before about 2:30 PM (EDT), then you'll just have to wait for judgement until Monday night.
Posted by BT at May 23, 2002 05:59 PMJonathan Richman?
Posted by: teenidol on May 24, 2002 10:01 AMJ. Geils. Peter Wolf. Shakin' Stevens.
Posted by: Rory on May 24, 2002 10:23 AMYou shouldn't let us Google, Bill. I have the answer already in my hot little head. Retract the Google loophole, or this quiz is mine! (Which I shall now prove by email under separate wrapper.)
Posted by: Rory on May 24, 2002 10:26 AMWhew, that was quick. Let me just add for the record that Googling wasn't 'cheating' when I did it just now - oh no. Bill positively encouraged it! Dared us to Google for the answer! Egged us on! And then changed his post when he saw my 1337 Google skillz in action.
But the competition is still wide open. None of the answers so far come close.
Posted by: Rory on May 24, 2002 10:38 AMDon't suppose it was Dave Berg?
http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/News/05/24/obit.berg.ap/index.html
No? I'll go with Eddie Money.
Posted by: boxjam on May 24, 2002 10:53 AMHuey Lewis?
Posted by: scott on May 24, 2002 11:51 AMGood guesses, but nobody's got it right yet.
And sorry about the original incitement-to-Google. It wouldn't be a Friday Quiz without an editorial miscall.
Posted by: BT on May 24, 2002 12:13 PMRick Springfield?
Tommy Tutone?
(Probably not rockin' enough. . .)
Pat Travers?
Do you mean righteous as in "characterized by uprightness [cock rock not withstanding][heh] and morality" or as in "dude is righteous!"
Posted by: scott on May 24, 2002 01:09 PMDude, we meant the dude was like, righteous in his dedication to cock-rock.
Posted by: BT on May 24, 2002 01:13 PMÀ la recherche du King Biscuit Flour Hours perdu.
Hmm. . .
I didn't have regular access to MTV until, like, the 90s. So then:
Bryan Adams?
(Probably still too pop, not enough cock.)
Posted by: scott on May 24, 2002 01:38 PM
cory hart? when i was 12, i guess i would have thought of him as a cock rocker...
Posted by: jess on May 26, 2002 01:04 PMjohn cougar (melonhead)? but maybe he was too big to be described as departing as quickly as he arrived...
sounds like he might declaim the value of a writing course though (and might need it too)
Posted by: art on May 26, 2002 09:24 PMum, now that I recall the reference to "cock rock"--and remember I am the antithesis of posturing cock rock--I will now suggest Sammy Hagar (who can't drive 55, as you must recall)
Posted by: art on May 26, 2002 09:28 PMPerhaps it's the Fresh Air-befouling Gene Simmons?
Posted by: bootsy on May 27, 2002 03:37 PMSo many great responses, but no bullseyes as yet. A hint for those willing to continue in pursuit of the very read bumpersticker:
The following lyrics are from the 1981 LP that rocketed this bad boy to fame (although from the track "Too Daze Gone," not from the sex-me-up big hit single from the same record):
Gone through the games that you want me to play
Gone past the rules that you put in my way
Racin' past your limit - ain't no right and wrong
Past the point of carin' - too daze gone
And no, this isn't a "guilty pleasures" selection -- I do not nor have I ever own a copy of the above record.
I'll post another clue in the morning if no one's gotten there yet.
Posted by: BT on May 27, 2002 09:20 PMum...that should be "real" bumpersticker. Not "read."
Posted by: BT on May 27, 2002 09:21 PMAnd "owned", not "own"...it was a long weekend.
Posted by: BT on May 27, 2002 09:34 PMAs I had to leave the office on the stroke of two on Friday, and I'm an impatient bastard, I googled the answer. Great quiz, though, I'm sure everybody wants you to continue.
Heck, maybe I'll keep guessing anyway. . .
Lou Gramm
Gram Parsons
Alan Parsons
Loverboy
Posted by: scott on May 28, 2002 09:33 AMOne more clue: our hero is a Bostonian who toured last year with a reunited Styx and Bad Company.
Posted by: BT on May 28, 2002 09:45 AMedgar winter!
Posted by: mlang on May 28, 2002 11:51 AMor maybe vince neil?
Posted by: mlang on May 28, 2002 11:53 AMFinal clues:
1. Prior to his hits under his own name, his band was called Piper.
2. Some lyrics from one hit:
...Don't ya take no chances, keep your eye on top
Do your fancy dances, you can't stop you just...
Aha! Bill thought he could slip this question by me while I was out of town and offline, but I cancelled my honeymoon just so I could come home and guess in the Friday quiz:
Could it be the flailing Bostonian, Mr. Billy Squier? The man who brought us "In the Daaahk"?
Posted by: Gavin on May 28, 2002 08:57 PMEverybody Wants You, Mr. Newlywed Smarty-Pants Gavin Edwards. You are correct.
For those spurred to master Squieriana at a higher level, you can get what you need here; be warned about the musical opening if you're in a library or some other such quiet place...
Posted by: BT on May 29, 2002 09:06 AM