The sentence which follows doesn't seem well-constructed, lashing as it does an introductory noun phrase and a lengthy participle phrase to a clause that doesn't begin, confusingly, until the words "this man." But this paragraph did appear as the opening to an obituary in a major American newspaper.
A survey of the events of two-thirds of a century--telling a story thrilling to every patriot, instructive to every observer of these times, and helpful to citizens in every station and of all beliefs who wish their country well--this man, humbly born, taught only in the nation's school, conquers a place among the great ones of the earth, restores unity to a divided people, and dies a plain American citizen, lamented alike by grateful countrymen, loyal comrades, and admiring foes.
Who was the deceased?
As always, Google not, but consult the history textbook of the mind. First correct answer to comments wins a Barnes & Noble "Book Browser" t-shirt, size Large.
Shall we knock the obvious out of the way?
Honest Abe Lincoln?
...except for dying "a plain American citizen." Hmmm.
Posted by: teenidol on July 19, 2002 09:34 AMI don't know if this breaks the multiple guesses "rule:"
U.S. Grant (born Hiram Ulysses Grant)?
Gosh, yeah, the 2/3 century thing lining up to (if you want) 1865, the uniting the divided people -- dang.
So since teenidol's cleared the field I'll just presume it was a strange paper and go with Robert E Lee. 2nd even more perverse guess: John Wilkes Booth.
I suspect this one will require Clues.
But:
Crazy Horse?
Crispus Attucks?
The Whiskey Rebellion?
I grieve to say that my delight at the stately 19th-C. prose of the quotation blinded me to the Glory of Its Obviousness.
Teenidol nails it -- U.S. Grant indeed. I don't know why I didn't think that the "restores unity to a divided people" part of it wouldn't be pretty much a giveaway. It would have been a good Jeapordy-style question, where if you buzz in fast with the wrong answer (Lincoln, say), you are excluded. But just too easy to get for this game.
Which doesn't detract from James's perspicacity. Your story is one that is instructive to every observer of these times, and helpful to citizens of every station. There's a 100% cotton memento in your future.
Posted by: BT on July 19, 2002 10:41 AMAh, the Sicilian Maneuver! You knew we'd be expecting it to be something less obvious, which made the obvious choice less obvious, which....
Posted by: Gavin on July 19, 2002 10:43 AMI'd like to accept the cotton bounty with all humilty, despite its repeated description as "obvious" and "giveaway." It's about time a (distant) relative (Snr. Grant) worked in my favor. All I can say is: "IN YOUR FACE, ALL YOU PEOPLE RELATED TO GOOD PRESIDENTS!"
Posted by: teenidol on July 19, 2002 10:55 AMWho's buried in Grant's tomb again?
Posted by: hackly_fracture on July 19, 2002 11:07 AMI have to move to some place on east coast time again.
Ah, well. I have to say that the writing style didn't strike me as 19th century, but as the first half of the 20th. Contextual clues, of course, pushed it earlier.
It's fitting that a question BT deems 'too easy' is so closely related to the archetypal easy trivia question of all time.
Posted by: boxjam on July 19, 2002 11:07 AM...which hackly_fracture just provided for us.
Posted by: boxjam on July 19, 2002 11:08 AMIf you want to move some place on east coast time, may I suggest the east coast?
Posted by: Gavin on July 19, 2002 12:22 PMNo no no no no, wrong wrong wrong! It's a little known fact, but it was in fact NOT US Grant! The truth - conspired against by USG et al, was that a little lady called "Whiney Spritzer in a Teacup" (aka "Whiskey Rebellion Lite" - after all, it was Temperance Time) - now she, oh yes, it was she who really cooled the beating breast of the Victorian American.
Speaking of relatives of not-so-good presidents, back when I was giving tours of John Tyler's retirement home, I met Martin Van Buren's grand nephew. In the wake of the introduction, I reeled - I had no idea how one reacts to the situation. Apparently familiar with such reaction, MVBgn leaned his shiny, elf-like face, with its huge, shiny nose and its protruding white hairs, very close into mine and said, with a wink "Formidable, eh?"
Posted by: scott on July 19, 2002 12:50 PMCompare Sherman, Abraham, and Jefferson.
"Stonewall" doesn't seem to track...
Posted by: BT on July 19, 2002 01:02 PMNot much luck on Hackly, either. Pretty much invalidates the whole thing, doesn't it?
Posted by: scott on July 19, 2002 01:38 PMPage Six Alert: Word out on the street is that Hackly is going to re-brand himself as Juicy Brucey soon (aka J-Bru). Y'all heard it here first.
Posted by: bootsy on July 19, 2002 02:21 PM> Compare Sherman, Abraham, and Jefferson.
Weezy, my name is way more popular than Hackly.
Posted by: teenidol on July 19, 2002 05:03 PMbuckminster fuller?
Posted by: mlang on July 21, 2002 11:34 PM