Actually, I think that the new #1 with a bullet (?!) is the "Joie de Veto"

Do try to make sure your sources are up to date, hey Mr. Wombat man.

And what about the Harvey Liversmasher? Still becalmed in the mid teens?

Hey, this is fun. . .

(My original fave is the Virgin Boilermaker. What's that? O'Douls with a depth charge of PineSol?)

I was thinking more apple juice than Pine-Sol.

More:

Black Velour

The Ray Jay Johnson

Hot Buttered Vermouth

A Little Bit of Each of These Weird New Malt Beverages in a Big "Hook-Em Horns" Glass Uncle Bought Back When He Was Getting His Engineering Degree Texas A & M the University of Texas.

Of course that should be "Your Uncle"

I think it should be the University of Texas, too. A & M are the Aggies, sworn enemies and regular patsies of the (University of) Texas Longhorns. "Huck the Forns" is more like it.

Is Harvey Liversmasher funnier than Harvey Dicklimpener? I've been wondering. Though both could be unpopular American cocktails. I'm struggling for a pithy impotence-referring cocktail.

"Impotence by the Shore shooter"?

Oh Scott, that was so funny my "Cometini" came right out of my nose!

Oh Scott, that was so funny my "Cometini" came right out of my nose!

That's a definite "Owie."

Actually, Harvey Dicklimpener is very, very funny.

Yeah, until your "best buddy" slips you one at your wedding.

There are enough weddings to keep the HD out of the bottom ten.

What do you garnish a Cometini with, anyhow? Whatever you pull out of the sink strainer?

As long as we're talking about drinks, you know the song "One shot, one bourbon, and one beer?"

What the hell is in the shot? A different kind of whiskey? Does the whole concept of distinctly ordering a shot, and then a "bourbon" (presumably straight up) to follow seem rather baroque? I mean, why not just get a double?

Uh, dude, he's singing "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer."

I'm an idiot.

It's OK Bill, we know that that was just the 'Prestone Sunrise' talking.

I'm an idiot.

BT, maybe you should stick to the Eudora Welty observations and leave the blue collar stuff well alone.

Incidentally, a friend of mrs. teenidol was propositioned by members of the Deleware Destroyers (back in the mid-early 80s). She had not heard of them and spurned their advances.

You suggest that had she known who they were then she would have been more receptive? Come to think of it, dumbed-down Chuck Berry licks make me a little hot, too.

Well, you don't know the sort mrs. teenidol hung out with...

Although she did tell her friend that George Thorogood sucked and the correct deicision had been made.

P.S. Everyone knows that musicians get all the babes. Just ask a musician. Maybe someone from the 80s band Shemp.

I just did a search on Kazaa for "Shemp" for the hell of it (I am unemployed so that is my main motivation sometimes).

I got a song called "No Voy Con Shemp" on the album "Todo Por Dos Pesos," artist sadly unknown.

I realize I am rambling but this just gets better and better. I found the performers for "No Voy Con Shemp": Los Tres Chiflados, who also have a song called "Llamen a Moe."

Translations for the Spanish impaired:

No Voy Con Shemp = I do not go with Shemp
Los Tres Chiflados = The Three Nuts (as in daffy)
Llamen a Moe = Call Me Moe

I have been listening to Loose Fur, but I may switch now.

Update: Los Tres Chifaldos *are* The Three Stooges. Duh.

And none of these make good drink names.

Five posts in a row! Yay!

No one's mentioned Karaoke Coffee or Sick on the Beach.

Sick on the Beach -- brilliant! And the cheaper, but less appealing, Walking Along That Same Beach.

Wouldn't "Llamen a Moe" without the reflexive (me llamen Moe) be "They call Moe"?

Anyone for a Bonobo Backwash?

Wouldn't "Llamen a Moe" without the reflexive (me llamen Moe) be "They call Moe"?

I agree. It figures the one phrase I don't double check is faulty.

But alas, the plot thickens, my friend...

I downloaded the two songs. They sound like recordings from a Spanish TV show (Sabado Gigante?). They are definitely not "The Three Stooges" proper. I promise, if nothing else, that I will find the source of this and stamp it out like a gaping wound.

Or something.

BT, sorry for hijacking the 'batfile. I moved this discussion over to my sorry ass blog.

Bonobo Backwash? Eh? Anyone? Made with real monkey spit, not sour mix like the cheezy bars use.

Scott, by the look of things it would be better named a Bonobo Backrub:

http://songweaver.com/info/bonobos.html

Thanks, but I'll have a Wal Martini.

Go easy on those Wal Martinis, Rory. They're huge, addictive, and leave you disoriented and sorta headachey.

But they're so cheap you can buy 'em by the palate.

How about a Silty Dog?

Ah, very good, but I prefer a well-mixed Crusty Neil.

Llamen a Moe = Call Me Moe

"Llamen a Moe" does NOT mean "call me moe", it means "call Moe". Third person singular and plural in English are the same: "you", that is why you say "(you)call Moe", it is an imperative form you are using to tell someone or a group of people to call Moe, so he comes over.
In Spanish third person singular is "tú", and third person plural is "ustedes" (respectful form, there´s a more familiar one as well), that´s why the same imperative takes two forms: "(tú) llama a Moe" and "(ustedes) llamen a Moe". There´s more than that, but to make you understand the meaning this is just enough. "llamen a Moe"="call Moe"
Call me Moe would be "llámame Moe" in singular form, and "llámenme/llamadme Moe" in plural.
Paq

Llamen a Moe and No voy con Shemp, are parodies to two pop Argentinian pop songs. In fact the group spoofing up the two songs (and many others) is called "Todo por dos pesos" (everything for two pesos), and they did or still do have a section on a TV comedy show.
Llamen a Moe is a parody of Soda Stereo´s "De música ligera", the song´s punch line says "de aquél amor de música ligera" (about that light music love), whereas the line "de aquél amor" is replaced by the line "llamen a Moe" in the parody.
"No voy con Shemp" is a spoof of "No voy en tren" (I don´t go by train), by Charly García.
Mystery solved.
Paq

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llamen a moe que larry esta en cualquiera, anda con gatos, le da a la ginebra