BIG NIGHT (Campell Scott & Stanley Tucci, 1996) Tony Shaloub steals the movie with his that's-a-spicy-a-meatball!-style portrayal of hothead chef Primo, while Stanley Tucci's understated Secondo oddly comes off as less believable, in part because Stanley keeps forgetting about the Italian accent he started off with. A film charming enough in the things it refuses to do that it's easy to overlook its overall failure to deliver much in the way of a story. And maybe, in the end, it's better to go along. Great ensemble cast, with the exception of Ian Holm, whose cockney-Italian inflections make it seem like he's wandered in from the set of a Guy Ritchie movie.

PANIC ROOM (David Fincher, 2002) Within the first ten minutes of the film's beginning, my life-partner intimated to me that she was finding herself so erotically attracted to the Manhattan townhouse in which Jodie Foster is trapped by Forrest Whittaker, Dwight Yoakum, and Jared Leto that she was pretty sure she would have to choose the house over me, if asked nicely. I was forced to agree with her -- I, too, would have carnal relations with the house if possible. Four stories, lots of original detail, claw-foot tub in a huge old bathroom, skylights, modern-but-understated-kitchen...brick-walled basement! Man, oh, man. As for the plot, which was hard to care about, given our constant discussion over which walls we'd need to knock out: the movie's mission of menacing suspense is hampered by the fact that Forrest Whittaker has been forbidden, apparently by congressional act, to play non-saintly characters in the movies, and thus his ability to act as ringleader of a criminal trio is sadly compromised. Also, the syringes full of insulin are never used to kill anyone, and is that a ripoff or what?

SHAOLIN SOCCER (Stephen Chow, 2001) It is difficult to know how to describe this film, which traces the intersection of two stories: a disgraced soccer star who has accepted "dishonor" money to throw a game is looking to coach a comeback team; meanwhile, a young man looks for a way to spread the popularity of kung fu throughout the world. When the two meet, and the six Shaolin-trained brothers of ambitious Sing (Chow) are brought together, sports redemption and kung fu go together like a steamed pork bun and an upside-down helicopter kick. It is, and I say this advisedly, the greatest movie ever made. Go get it RIGHT NOW.