January 22, 2003
Yin and Yang

Things that seem to annoy other people that don't bother me so much:


  1. Frivolous lawsuits -- A source of constant amusement.
  2. Yappy little dogs -- Do we blame the sun for shining? The wind for blowing? Yea, let the yapping dog yap!
  3. Reality TV -- I hear of it more than I see it. Anyway, have the recent crop of sitcoms and Law & Order clones proved better?
  4. The Arrogance of the Beastie Boys -- I can't help but like them, really. Even when they do get self-important.
  5. Long-winded novelists who need editing -- I'd rather have overlong than underwritten.
  6. Overly precious restaurant menus -- It's cute the way they tell you about every ingredient.
  7. Amateur musicians busking in the subway -- They're trying so hard!
  8. Inane intra-anchor banter on the evening news -- Think of it as a formal ritual rather than an empty imitation of camaraderie.
  9. Automated customer service telephone queues -- I'll push buttons. It's no big deal, really.
  10. Liberal media bias -- I suppose it's just grown on me!

Things that probably annoy me more than they do anyone else:


  1. The disappearance of the 10-oz. bottle of soda and the ascendancy of the 20-oz. monster-size bottle.
  2. Oh, the Places You'll Go!
  3. The bogus claims of herbal-supplement manufacturers.
  4. People who get on the down escalator and then just stand there in the middle and REST.
  5. Power-strips with sockets set so close to one another that you can't plug in multiple items that have those big transformer-box types of plug.
  6. Computer-animated expressions superimposed "real" animal faces on television or in films.
  7. Diners and restaurants which insist on playing commercial radio stations over their PA systems.
  8. That guy on the Superstation's "Man Made Movie." Sweet Jesus, he's the most irritating personality in the history of television!
  9. That soft-chimey keyboard sound that became ubiquitous in pop ballads and lite R&B in the 90's.
  10. Flat, coastal scrublands.

Posted by BT at January 22, 2003 06:16 PM
Comments

A wombat and I once engaged in debate on #4 dislike -- elevators used for a quick foot commute rest as opposed to an amazing speed burst -- but even though I'm on the other side of the debate that doesn't stop me from realizing they should be called: Human Hummers!

Posted by: hackly_fracture on January 23, 2003 10:12 AM

(duh - escalators)

Posted by: hackly_fracture on January 23, 2003 10:13 AM

And even more annoying is escalator-blockers smoking cigars in summer: humid human-humidor hummers.

Would anyone else put on the YangList the blindingness of the 11-pixel grey-on-white serif font on a regular Mac monitor?

Posted by: bootsy on January 23, 2003 11:29 AM

Your escalators gripe sounds like the 1930s New Yorker cartoon that never was: one grizzled oldie stuck behind a resting type turns to his friend and says, "Nowadays even stairs have to be a damn ride."

(Hey, I never claimed it was a *funny* cartoon-that-never-was. That's why I said New Yorker.)

I suspect it's the soothing effect of muzak. What you need to do is slip into every major department store in NYC and sneak some 180 bpm techno into their CD players.

Posted by: Rory on January 23, 2003 12:49 PM

On No. 7, I *really* agree -- and I reserve special hostility for establishments that tune into Smooth Jazz CD 101.9.

The appearance of No. 6 as applied to babies several years ago led me to write this screed, which I admit is a bit histrionic but shares your pain: http://ctina.com/baby.html.

Posted by: Christina on January 23, 2003 02:13 PM

The link Christina was trying to post:

http://ctina.com/baby.html

(HTML doesn't work on the comments, but URLs will render as links)

Posted by: BT on January 23, 2003 02:17 PM

What's up with "Oh, the Places You'll Go!"?

Not sure I've read it.

Posted by: boxjam on January 23, 2003 02:57 PM

Actually tying in nicely with the previous post from the Grand Wombah, there was an amazing story in the New Yorker fiction issue a couple of years ago by George Saunders. The title was, I think "I Can Talk! (tm)" and it was written as a customer service department letter responding to a complaint by a mother who didn't like her I Can Talk. Said device being a mouth thingee you strapped on your own baby that simulated the baby's speaking well before the child was able to do so. It was brilliant. Brilliant, I tells ya.

Posted by: Scott on January 23, 2003 03:51 PM

I don't mind the automated phone queues as long as:

1) there is no "our menu has changed" preface
2) you may opt out to speak with a homo sapiens by pressing 0.

Posted by: teenidol on January 24, 2003 09:00 AM

Even worse than the people who stop at the end of escalators are the people who stop outside revolving doors.

Posted by: Soren deSelby on January 24, 2003 08:17 PM

This reads ominously like the list Eric Harris (of Columbine High School fame) made of things he hated and wanted to destroy. The one that comes to mind is "people who pronounce 'espresso' wrong, like with an X."

That soft-chimey keyboard is a Yamaha DX7. Destroy them all!

Posted by: DC on January 27, 2003 06:34 PM